Dad With Butterfingers Drops Delivered Baby Right Into The Toilet

CONN — Dad Accidentally Delivers Baby Into Toilet – A Connecticut baby has arrived with a splash, right into a toilet bowl. The baby’s father, David Davis, tells WVIT-TV (http://bit.ly/1mZ4HlM ) that he was forced to deliver the newborn in the bathroom of his West Haven home Friday morning after his wife, Lillie, went into labor. He says the baby slipped through his hands during the delivery, but luckily went into the water. He says she began crying and it was the best sound he’d ever heard.

Everything after that headline was a pretty big let down, so thanks for nothing Associated Press. But every Sunday morning it feels like I’m delivering a baby into the toilet as well, and the least I could do was hope this story was exactly what it sounded like. Unfortunately, it wasn’t a fat dad that somehow turned out to be a pregnant mom who gave birth while dropping some heat after taking down all the $2.50 Bud Lights he/she could handle the night before. Either way, this is still a terrible way for another human life to come in to the world. It can’t be a good omen if the first thing you do out of the womb is get an impromptu baptism with some toilet water. Dad might want to get himself a pair of receiver gloves before he decides to partake in any more deliveries. But yes, David Davis, hearing that water splash after all that pushing and heavy breathing is the best sound ever.